The Cost of Friendship: Why Underpaying Your Friend for Their Work Is a Silent Betrayal

Great workstation of a video editor

We often throw the word “friendship” around like it’s a discount code.

And nowhere is this more dangerous than when money and labor are involved.

You’ve probably heard or said something like:
“Abeg, just help me do this one. You be my guy na. I no get plenty money now. You understand.”

The friend—maybe a video editor, graphic designer, tailor, musician, or web developer—smiles, nods, and says “no wahala.” But deep down, they feel it: the sting of being valued less simply because of familiarity.

Let’s be honest:


Friendship should not be a reason to undervalue someone’s time, talent, or expertise. If anything, it should be a reason to pay them more, not less.

1. You’re Teaching Them That Their Work Is Not Worth It

Every time you slash their rate because “we’re close,” you’re sending a message—whether you say it or not:

> “Your skill isn’t valuable enough to be paid for properly.”

Even if your friend doesn’t complain, trust me—they notice. They may not say it, but they’ll remember.

2. It Breeds Silent Resentment

Many friendships have quietly died because of money. And not because the friend wasn’t paid—but because they were underpaid and still expected to be grateful.

Friendship thrives on mutual respect. When one side starts taking without properly giving, the balance breaks.
Eventually, the relationship turns into an unspoken transaction: “What can I get from this person for free?”

3. It Kills Passion

Imagine spending hours editing a video, building a website, or designing a logo—only to be paid a token because “na you I know.”

Now imagine being expected to still be excited, creative, and happy doing it again.

It doesn’t work that way.

When you underpay your friend, you don’t just cheat them financially—you drain their passion. And for creatives, passion is oxygen.

4. It Affects Their Other Jobs

Your friend might start avoiding other real clients because of the time and energy they’ve committed to your discounted work. And if they tell the next person their price, that one may say,

> “But you did it for your guy at half this price now.”

Congratulations. You’ve not only underpaid them, but you’ve also spoiled their market.

5. You Wouldn’t Do It to a Stranger

Here’s the irony: if that same job were to be done by someone you didn’t know, you’d likely pay full price. Maybe even upfront.

But with your friend, you pay late… if at all. Why? Because “they’ll understand.”
The truth is, they do understand—they just don’t say it.

So What’s the Solution?

Be honest about your budget. If you can’t afford their rate, say so respectfully—and ask if they can offer something within your range without guilt-tripping them.

Don’t expect discounts because of friendship. Let them offer it willingly. If they choose to help you, appreciate it deeply.

Pay on time. Respect their process. Treat them the way you’d treat a professional stranger you admire.

Final Thoughts

Friendship is not a discount. It’s a privilege.

If your friend has a skill, pay them fairly. Don’t use closeness as an excuse to exploit.
The real test of friendship is not how much you can get, but how much you respect.

So next time your friend says, “This is my rate,”
don’t say, “Ah ah, but I’m your guy now…”
Say, “I respect your work, and I’ll support you the right way.”

You might just keep the friendship alive—and help them build the life they’re dreaming of.

Have you ever felt underpaid because a friend assumed you’d understand? Or have you been on the other end, asking for a favor without thinking of the cost? Share your experience in the comments below. Let’s talk about it.