When it comes to managing a long-distance relationship, a lot is involved. Janet made me understand that it is never easy to remain faithful to someone you love even after many years apart.
However, despite their long-distance relationship, Janet went ahead to share with me 5 things that made her long relationship work.
Janet told me that for her relationship to work, the essential role prayers played can never be neglected.
“Prayers have worked for me. There is no night I go to bed without praying for God’s protection over my man. Whether it is in the morning, afternoon, or evening, my prayers never end until I mention the name of my man.
Also, when we speak on the phone at night, I ensure we pray together before saying goodnight to each other. So if I must mention some of the things that have kept my long-distance relationship alive and sailing, prayers are one of them.”
2. Settling Disputes Amicably
No relationship is perfect and free from disputes. Janet made us understand that her relationship was never free from one dispute to another.
One thing that mattered was how they managed to solve the problem without allowing it to escalate.
“My man is very understanding. On many occasions, I’ve triggered one problem or another with him, and he still has his way of settling it with me. However, before we started, we promised ourselves never to allow our differences to get the better part of us.
Any day his call does not come in, he will be ready for my war (laughs). He knows that whenever he does not call, I will always nag him for not having me at heart.
By the time he knows that I was not ready to listen to his excuses, he will still say he was sorry. I understand that the nature of his job is tedious and takes more of his time. I just want to have him talk and still apologize. The way he apologizes to me makes me feel special and childish. I love being treated like a child, and of course, my man knows how to do that.”
3. Staying Positive
When she mentioned staying positive, she laughed and said that this was the most difficult of them all.
Janet elaborated on how her man made her believe that for her to be fine with him, she must learn to trust him and shun all forms of jealousy.
“It is normal to be jealous, but the question is, how and what is the level of your jealousy? My man has his way of making me feel jealous. Each time he wants to get at me, he tells me how many beautiful ladies he met on his way to his workplace.
When I tried reacting, he shut me down by telling me that every woman is beautiful and that seeing beautiful creatures like me daily gives him enough joy and reasons to be happy with his work.
He told me that each time he sees anything beautiful, it reminds him of me. And each time that happens, he will have no other option but to call me. All the time, I tried to stay positive for my man and my state of mind. I know he is not cheating, and I won’t believe it even though I catch him red-handed.
I know that I don’t see what he does from here, but I am pretty sure he is not cheating on me where he is now.”
4. Seeing Reasons to Love Him
“Seeing reasons to love your partner in a long-distance relationship is key to maintaining and sustaining your relationship.
If you don’t do that, that relationship will end the moment your partner leaves you for a distant land.
Take your time and invest your love in things that make you love your man. Every man has his shortcomings, but it is more important to focus on things he does right rather than his shortcomings.
If you want your long-distance relationship to work, then you must see reasons to love your partner who is not currently with you.”
In the issue of relationships, be it long or short distance, communication has always taken centre stage.
“I was in open communication; I think that is why my relationship with him lasted even longer.
Whenever I am offended, I tell him about it, and he apologizes. The same also goes for him. When he feels offended, he doesn’t waste a second to tell me about it. And of course, I acknowledge my offence and beg his forgiveness.
Anytime I have any form of difficulty, my man is always the first person I relate it to. He is older than I am, so he goes along to advise me on what steps to take.
I love my man that much that I don’t see anyone to talk to first about my problem but him.”
In her ending discussion with me, she said it was important for one (both male and female) to consider and explore the things that make them relaxed in a relationship.
Janet and Mike’s successful long-distance relationship was built on a foundation of prayer, effective dispute resolution, staying positive, appreciating each other, and open communication.
Their story underscores the importance of these elements in maintaining a healthy and enduring connection despite the challenges of physical distance.