why some children obey others more than their parents
For sometime now many parents have being wondering why their children disobey them but obey neighbours or strangers.
So many parents do think that their children are under some kind of spell or something related that.
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A woman was so bittered with the way her son have be refusing to respect her orders instead her neighbours’.
On a very good day, she sent her son to go buy salt, and he started murmuring. Another neighbour called for him and he quickly rushed to answer the neighbour. With so much rage, the woman went after her son and beat him to death.
Back to our discussion.
It is understood that if you don’t understand what could be the cause of this action in children, you end up like the woman in the above short story.
The truth is, it is a natural phenomena which every child exhibits. That is to say, I did it when I was young, and you as a parent equally did it when you were young. So it is normal for every child to behave in such kind of way.
Another reason why children disobey their parents more than neighbours is because of over familiarity. They believe that their parents will not hurt them so as a result, they disobey them continuously.
From childhood to adolescence, this behaviour is inevitable. What is more important is the measures you are applying as a parent to control such behaviour.
Unlike the woman in the short story, beating them to death is not the best way to control such a behaviour. You can apply some applicable measures like
1. Pray for them.
Always praying for them is a welcome development to helping the child return to normalcy. Like we know, there is nothing prayers can not do. So always remember them in your prayers for a possible change in behaviour.
2. Tell them to invite their friends over
It will be unfortunate that as a parent, you don’t know the kind of friends your children are keeping. The kind of friends they keep play a great role in shaping their lives. Invite them and take your time to monitor their idiosyncrasies (way of life). Deter your children from keeping such friends if you notice unfavorable attitude. This can have an influence on your children and could be the reason why they are acting the way are.
3. Proper orientation
Give your children proper orientation. Help them to understand the long term negative effect of disobedience. Engage them in a one-on-one discussion. Make them know how bad you feel about their nonchalant attitude and how it could affect their future if they continue that way.
4. Use the cane:
In some cases, you are required to use the cane on them. Avoid flogging a child with anger else you will end up injuring him. Only correct such a behaviour when your mind is at ease. This will enable you to properly discipline such a child.
Many will tell you that you need to attend to a behaviour the moment it is exhibited. I am not disputing such fact. I am only warning against trying to discipline a child in an angered state of mind. You may end up killing that child just like the woman in the above short story.
5. Understand their age
Do not also forget like we earlier said, they are not under any spell of any kind rather they are acting according to their age. Do not be furious with them. This is a period they will soon pass. So follow them up with caution.
6. Your relationship with them
Your relationship with your children also can be one of these reasons. Your child can prefer respecting your neighbours more than the way they do with you simply because there is no working relationship existing within you. Always have time for your children. This is very important and will quickly enable them to adjust properly to normal societal values. When no good relationship exist between you and your children, they will end up carrying this disobedience to adulthood. And by this time, it becomes very impossible to control.
There are many measures you can apply to control this behaviour. From your experiences, settle down, know your flaws and see if they were the cause.
Children are gifts from God and trust me, you will give account on how you took care of them.
So don’t think that your family is under any curse because your children prefer obeying others than their parents. It’s just normal. What is expected of you is what you are doing to avoid the escalation of the unacceptable behaviour.