Freeky Weekend: crazy funny jokes

 Well I think it's another weekend and among all creatures, am the most happy.

I know that a lot of people are not happy because they think they did not achieve anything during the week. You are a lier and at the same time a deceiver.

That you are alive to see this weekend isn't it enough reason to thank God? Is being alive not an achievement? Or have you forgotten that being alive to see every new second is an opportunity to know that there is still hope?

Because things don't happen the way you expected you think all hope is lost.

My brother, as long as there is life, there is hope.

Funny weekend jokes


Therefore, because I cannot come and kill myself because of life, I've decided to sama you with this funny jokes.


Let's get started.......

1. No Man Utd fan should be advised to marry a Liverpool fan because those two clubs are great enemies from time immemorial. I hope the message is clear enough? It's for the sake of your family ooo.

2. As a celebrity like me, if only my mother knew the number of likes and comments I get from the photos and videos I post on Facebook and Twitter, she wouldn't want to tell me to wash plates again.

3. 30 years in the wilderness and you are scared of a common bush. My brother I think you are mentally problematically inclined....'oyiboo'.

4. "Baby I will die for you! I will go extra miles for you! I will do the undoable for you!.....etc yet you are afraid to go ease yourself outside at night instead you pee inside the bucket. Ewu!

5. Until someone tells me what K and D is doing in KnowleDge, I will never learn English again. Am tired of learning nonsense.

6. Tomorrow is pregnant! Tomorrow is pregnant!! Are you the one responsible? Aturu....

7. My father just told me he has disowned me. How I wished my mother is brave enough to tell him that he is not my real father....

8. On earth, the most intelligent are the fathers. From nursery to university they have never taken 2nd position always 1st 1st

9. My teacher thinks he knows everything. Can he spell the sound my father's bumbum did today?

10. A good wife material is she that can accept to shit in the same shit hole with her husband at the same time and same place.

11. To whom it may concern, I just said goodbye to poverty. Am tired of that thing.

12. Traditionally, I have decided to teach my teacher the meaning of his job. He is just full of shit.

14. Any man who cannot cook like me is a big shame to manhood. Please, I don't mean the other manhood oo...

15. Because today is weekend, the federal government has announced a free day for civilians to slap any man on uniform especially the soldiers and nothing will happen.

16. Any woman that cannot buy ordinary pant for her husband has lost her place in his manhood.

17. Because of the recent happenings in this country, I have decided to plan a coup against the incumbent.........lemme go and clean my face well.

18. The day I lost all my fowls, that day I believed I can't love again. So please agirl, stay off for your own life.

19. Currently, I am accepting applications for those young ladies who are searching for a boyfriend. Portal closes after every weekend.

20. If you are not happy and you think funny jokes and comedies can't make you happy, then am sorry because your problems are beyond your problems... Doctors are in better position to help your situation.


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